luke

today was a rather sluggish day at school,one of our 'lectures' was a movie/film actually, entitled 'this little life'. it followed the life of a premature baby, 'luke' born at 24 weeks and how his parents had followed him through the ups and downs through his ordeal in neonatal intensive care. there were several subplots in the show and flashes of how his mum would allow her thoughts to wonder about how she would enjoy life with him when he grew up, she promised him that he would bring him to climb mountains when he came of the ventilator.

luke stayed in hospital for a total of 76 days before he contracted meningitis, though it was initially not severe, his conditioned worsened and his parents were faced with the decision to discontinue treatment on the face of extensive irreversible brain injury. it was really hard to see the decision making that each parent had to make. what would luke have wanted? he fought so hard, the doctors had said that it has been a miracle that he has gone so far, is it a way that he is saying that enough is enough? on the part of the health care team, from the nurses to the doctors that were in the care of luke throughout his time in the hospital, i don't believe that losing a child ever numbs you. no, each person, is different, and no matter how often death brushes past you, it always makes people think and wonder about how fragile a world we actually do exist in.

in the film, luke's mother talks about having seen luke grow up, "he's seen his room and he loves it" (though he's never left the hospital) that, perhaps life, though how short or long, doesn't change the fact that when its gone, we feel a whole lifetime flash by.

it made me think of my exams and the countless cans of red bull i've been drunk in the past week, the late nights and early mornings and the fact that medicine is the longest undergraduate course by far with the fewest rewards (short holidays?). but something must have made me choose it in the first place. and then it clicked. it was the fact that by the time i'm through, i would have (hopefully) acquired the skills that would have been able to help me (God willing) make a difference between life and death, yet when faced with a situation where i cannot make that distinction, i would know that i've did my best. and that, would have made it all worth it.